Once upon a time (the year 2000), in a land far, far away (Houston), there was a girl living a kind of lonely life. You see, she was dating a medical student who was doing his clinical rotations. Since this was back in the day, his surgery rotation meant waking up every morning at 3 am to leave for the hospital by 4 in order to drive to the public hospital on the other side of town and make rounds (check and get updates on all the patients) before the residents or attendings. And he was on call a lot. And "call" meant sleeping overnight in the public hospital, working really hard all night, not getting much (if any sleep), working the following day, and then driving home to give his poor girlfriend nightmares after hearing how many times he fell asleep on the highway that day.
Anyway. So, this girl was kinda on her own and wanted some furry companionship. As fate would have it, a friend found a sweet kitten wandering around looking for a home. From the beginning, it was nearly impossible to believe he had been a stray because this cat was an orange ball full of love. The girl tried so hard to be the best kitty mama she could be. Before the kitty came to live with her, she kitten-proofed her apartment and did her best to remove anything that might possibly endanger his sweet well-being. She even stayed home from work the morning he had his first hairball, since she didn't know what was wrong with him and she was so worried. The orange kitty loved the girl so, so, so much. It broke his heart every morning when she left for work and he would throw himself in front of the apartment door to try to keep her from leaving. As soon as she stepped into her hallway at the end of the day, she could hear her kitty crying for her. After a little while, she thought it might help if the orange kitty had a friend to play with during the day. Once again, as fate would have it, a kitten wandered into her life looking for a home. She was named The Pooka. The orange kitty loved his Pooka from the first moment he laid eyes on her. And all was well in the land far, far away.
Time passed and the boy and girl moved their little family of 4 - 2 human, 2 feline - to a new land called Chicago. Much like today, it was a difficult time for the girl to find a job and she spent a few months searching and searching, feeling very doubtful about any skills and her general worth. During this difficult time (when her boyfriend, who was now a surgery intern, was generally MIA and working 120 hour weeks at the hospital), the sweet kitty boy took such good care of her. He was such a snuggle bug who would purr and purr and love nothing more than to spend all of his time cuddled up with the girl. Mind you, not all was blissful. It so happens that the orange kitty cat is a giant cat, but thinks he's a teeny tiny kitten. Mishaps and general mayhem ensued. But above all, the boy and the girl could only shake their heads and marvel at the kitty cat made of love.
The boy and girl married and joked that the orange kitty and The Pooka should be named Best Cat and Kitty of Honor because they were so much a part of the family. Just after their marriage, the girl's father died. It was such a heart-wrenching, spirit-crushing time for her. Although her husband took good care of her and did his best in spite of being a 2nd year surgery resident, he just wasn't around that much. So many times, all she could do was hold tight to her sweet orange purring ball of love and sob into his fur. And the kitty just kept giving love.
The family of four made two more moves to two new cities. Each move was hard in its own way and came with the challenge of not knowing a soul in the area. The girl was always so thankful to be able to rely on the constant, unwavering, purring love of her kitty cats. They really were her babies before she had babies.
Time passed and the family had a (human) baby.
The orange kitty's reaction to the addition was a big topic for concern. He watched carefully as baby items began to fill the family's house, but generally assumed they were all new toys for him.
Not being able to do much else, the family just hoped for the best. At first, he seemed to react relatively well towards the little baby. He was mildly curious about her and didn't seem overly concerned about this funny little thing that was now living in his house.
All seemed to be going well until the end of the Christmas season, when the baby was about 2 months old. After hosting a continuing parade of family members excited to meet the new baby, the mama and daddy were taking down the Christmas tree. They noticed the tree skirt was wet and then... the smell. Apparently the orange kitty was feeling a little more threatened than previously thought, because he had started marking his territory (i.e. urinating on the carpet). It had never, never, ever happened before in the entire nearly 9 years of his life. This continued occasionally over the next year. It was a nuisance and seemed horrible, but looking back, it was relatively manageable.
By the following Christmas, things had taken a turn for the worse. The poor orange kitty apparently felt neglected and unloved because he started marking much more frequently... including in front of all of the daddy's family, who were visiting for the holiday. He was checked and re-checked for medical issues that could cause the behavior, but everything came up fine. It was "just behavioral." The kitty was banned from the basement, which is where all of this had occurred, carpet was replaced in 2 bedrooms, and things were better for a while. And then he started marking in the dining room. Not often, but it happened a couple of times. Medications were tried and thoroughly rejected by the big kitty. More & bigger litter boxes filled the house, but the marking continued. Ultimatums were given and discussions with vets were had. Up to this point, the girl thought the worst case scenario was having to give up her orange kitty for adoption. It just broke her heart to think of sending him off and never seeing him again. After speaking with the vet, she realized that all of her attempts were actually efforts to avoid having him euthanized. This possibility had never ever crossed the girl's mind and she became overwhelmed with guilt and sadness at the thought of killing her sweet kitty cat (who is still full of love - for the girl, anyway - although he clearly is not as happy as when he was the center of the household) because his behavior was out of control.
And another reprieve came. He stopped just long enough to make the girl think that maybe all would be well. Then the human portion of the family went on vacation for 2 weeks. A wonderful neighbor came to check on the kitties every day during their absence, but the big kitty still made his feelings about the absence pungently clear. The humans returned to find that the living room carpet was a pretty disgusting and smelly mess. Cleaning, scrubbing, and disinfecting of carpet and carpet pad followed, but the marking continued. Other ultimatums were issued and remedies desperately tried. More medications were attempted and rejected. The kitty urinated outside the baby's bedroom door while the parents were inside reading her bedtime stories. Arrangements were made to replace the hallway and dining room carpet with wood floors.
Yesterday, the girl pulled up the entire carpet in the dining room, cleaned the carpet pad, scrubbed the underside of the carpet and then shampooed the carpet as usual. The poor baby was stuck watching cartoons in her high chair after waking up from her nap, until the floor was safe for a little girl to come near. The kitty spent the afternoon sunbathing on the deck, which is preferred activity these days. When the big carpet job was finished, the girl let the kitty back inside the house. He immediately walked into the dining room and urinated in the middle of the floor. And the girl cried.
Unfortunately, it looks like there is no fairy tale ending here and that this family will not be living happily ever after.
In all seriousness, I am just sick over this entire situation and can't even begin to tell you how many tears I've shed. I desperately wish there were some way to communicate to Connor that his behavior is not going to get him what he wants... basically, my undivided attention and kicking the Kumquat out of the house. I looked into putting him up for adoption through the Humane Society, but after going through the forms involved, I'm pretty sure he'd be considered unacceptable and be euthanized.
One thing that makes me so sick about all of this is that he is a GREAT cat... in the right setting. Apparently, our family is no longer that setting. He is still incredibly attached to me, but I just can't give him all the attention he requires. And we only have one kid. What if we have more? (Hold your horses - I'm not pregnant. I just said "what if.") The cats are just going to keep slipping down the priority list. And it seems like that is just not going to work for him. I feel like we're slowly going down the euthanasia road and I just can't even put into words how sick that makes me.
He has his faults (he also scratches furniture and has recently started biting me), but he has so much love to give. He is gorgeous, loves to be brushed, brings his "snake" (teaser toy) to folks to request playtime, purrs like crazy, and is ridiculously cuddly. If you happen to know anyone who 1) loves cats, 2) is looking for one, and 3) has no children and can devote some love and attention to my sweet boy, will you please let me know? It's a long shot, I know, but I figured I can't move forward with anything else until I know I've given this every chance possible.
Or, if you have any miracle cures for sad kitties who just want their old lives back, but can't have them, then please let me know that, too.
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