Sweet Moments

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
- Heather Darling-Cortes

Tonight, I spent about an hour rocking my sleepy toddler-wannabe, wondering how a year could have flown by so quickly, but changed my world so completely. After our park debacle, DKG had to stop by his office, so K & I tagged along. As we drove past the hospital where we attended endless childbirth-preparation classes and Baby K finally was born, it struck me that we may have been making the same drive this day last year, but under very different circumstances. There would not have been four different kinds of snacks, cookie crumbs, 1 crusty bear & 2 drinks in my purse; nor would there be 1 hat and 1 loose baby shoe in DKG's pocket. My car would have been much, much cleaner and I would have been much, much heavier. I also would not have been listening to a song called "A Pirate Says 'Arrr!'" and laughing at a little girl who now does not say any words, but will inform you that the sound a pirate makes is indeed "Arrr!" Later, as we looked out a window in DKG's office building, I pointed out the beautiful Fall colors to K and told her the view from that window was almost the exact same as the one we had the day she was born. I told her how I laid in a bed and looked at the brilliant gold, orange, red and green trees and drank in how they twinkled in the bright sunshine and stood out against the blue sky. And how I looked at those changing leaves and thought about the dramatic change my life was about to take. I thought about how much my baby girl has changed in these past 11 months and how conflicted I feel when I look at her. It is such a beautiful age... she is part baby, part toddler. I just want to hold her and rock her and keep her as my little baby forever, but it is also so thrilling to see all of the new things she learns and does every day. She signed "coat" today. I didn't know she knew that one. And she took 9 steps while we were waiting for DKG. And she crawled up into my arms and rested her head on my chest just like when she was so tiny and new.

This morning, we played. That's it. I didn't clean up the kitchen after breakfast. I didn't make the bed or do the laundry. Or shower. We just played. We read books, danced, took big-girl steps, blew raspberries, shared giggles, counted toes, tickled feet, flew around the room, had mad crawling races, climbed through bridges and tunnels and then took a nap. Someone asked me today what I've been doing to stay busy. I smiled and looked at my sweet daughter. "Oh, not much."

It is an overwhelming gift to be able to be the person she looks to when she's upset or to be able to make her so happy just by walking into the room. I love this age. She is still my sweet baby, but she is able to share herself with us, too. I can love on her all I want and she loves me right back. I think that is what makes me the most wistful right now. I know our relationship will continually grow and change... hopefully it will develop and deepen in positive ways, which is what should happen. We should all grow. But right now is so beautiful. There is no eye-rolling, no baggage, no disappointments, no unmet expectations, no true regrets. There is just love. Pure, true love.

Not Me! Monday

It's been a hard couple of weeks as I vaguely mentioned in my previous post. My dear ones could still use all of the prayers you can send their way... guidance, healing, hope and peace would all be great blessings for them. I've been finding that in the midst of broken hearts, taking time to be frivolous is good for the soul. And so, it's time for MckMama's "Not Me" Monday blog carnival again!

Beyond the heavy stuff, what have we not been up to this week in the Kumquat Garden?

For one, I most certainly did not participate in any sort of man-cave-making Babyland 3.0 designing (a Kumquat needs a ginormous TV and surround sound, no?) activities for hours on end... with a hungry, tired, cranky baby trapped in her stroller. I also did not attempt to bribe appease soothe her by stuffing her full of snacks and playing numerous episodes of The Backyardigans for her on my iPhone. And while I was in the midst of our hours at Ultimate Electronics, I also did not completely forget about a meeting I was supposed to attend that evening. And once I did remember, I certainly did not engage in any sort of passive-aggressive, laying-the-blame-solely-on-my-husband-and-telling-him-I'd-be-kicked-out-of-my-moms' group-behavior. That would just be childish. And unhealthy. And, well... It doesn't matter because I certainly did not do any such thing.

I, a mama who truly considers herself not to be a big TV watcher, did NOT have to institute a "No TV During Dinner" policy... for my 11-month-old baby. (I also did not just feel a little bit sick when I wrote that. Good thing I didn't do it.) I also did not feel like the Worst Parent Ever when said baby had a complete and utter meltdown when DKG turned off the TV. Thank heaven I'd never be that kind of parent!

I also did not take my firstborn child to her very first Halloween party ever and bring the camera, but not the memory card.

And today, I did not drag my husband and child to a playground I love that just happens to be in... well, not the best part of town. I also did not continually reassure DKG that the park was perfectly safe during the entire drive there... even after we saw a homeless-looking man hanging around near the park entrance. I also did not continue with our plan to let the Baby Kumquat play at the park even after we pulled into the parking lot, saw 1 car, but no other people, & then realized there was a guy sleeping in the car. I did not say to DKG, "Well, at least we'll have the playground all to ourselves & Baby K won't have to worry about getting run over by bigger kids." I also did not suggest that we post a video of K swinging in the park on Facebook so that, should anything happen, the lovely folks investigating our abduction would be able to look at the video and have an idea of where we were at that precise time. (Did I mention that I really don't watch much TV? Just checking.) I also did not hightail it out of the park when we were startled by a homeless-looking man sleeping at the top of the slide!

Please Pray

My heart is breaking for some people very, very dear to me. I want to respect their privacy by not discussing details, but I also feel very strongly that they need all of the prayers they can get. So, if you're a praying person, please lift them up in your prayers. And if you're not, they could use any good thoughts and energy you could send their way. Thank you!

Chicago By The Numbers

• 1 nephew Baptized
• 1 2nd birthday celebrated
• 3 precious cousins playing together
• 3 relatives from the Phillippines we'd never met before
• 1 poor niece with a broken arm
• 1 children's museum visited
• 3 titas, 3 titos, 4 lolas, 2 lolos, 1 mommy, 1 daddy, 2 cousins, 1 auntie, 1 uncle, 1 close-enough-to-a-cousin, 1 kumquat, 1 dog & 2 cakes
• 4 dogs met
• 1 girl covered in doggie kisses
• 7 old friends visited & 3 new baby-friends made
• 2 steps taken
• 3 new teeth cut
• 1,000,000,000 pictures taken (give or take)
• 100 million gifts (or so it seemed when I was packing them!)
• 500 miles driven
• 1 plane to catch

Countless wonderful memories!

-- A Mobile Post

Do You Want Fries With That?

I've lately made blogging much more complicated than it really needs to be. And making things extra-complicated is something I never would do. Ahem. I've had trouble blogging often because I always think I need to have some great tale to tell and lots of pictures to go along with it. And, of course, the pics never are straight from the camera. They're almost always edited first. Since I take about a bazillion pictures a day, that's a daunting task! Then blogging, in turn, becomes more of a daunting task and not something to do for fun. Whose idea was that? Oh, right. So, I'm officially letting myself off the hook and getting back to basics. I'm sure this is about the 18th time I've said that in my 150+ posts, but whatever.

Sooo....

Yesterday, I went through the drive-through (thru? It hurts me to spell it that way.) at a fine establishment near the mall. When the young woman working the window handed my drink to me, it was literally overflowing and coated with soda all around. I asked her if I could please have a napkin. She looked at me like I was nuts. Now, don't get me wrong... I've known plenty of intelligent, competent people who have worked at such establishments. This girl just happened not to be one of them. Clearly, she thought the same about me. After she looked at me - utterly puzzled - for a moment, I said again, "A napkin? Please?" (Really, is the economy so bad that asking for a napkin is that preposterous?)

Then her expression changed and she said very slowly, as though explaining something very complicated to a small child, "See, you're at the 'drive-thru' and at the drive-thru, we usually put the napkins inside the bag."

Ah, thanks for clearing that up for me. I have always wondered.

Look What I Found!

The good news: The Kumquat is now doing the sign for "food" or "eat." Very helpful since she's just been signing "more" (which looks an awful lot like "ball" and "shoe") to tell me she's hungry (or so I've guessed).


The bad news: She has made another discovery so conveniently located near her mouth. And I'm sure her big cousin had absolutely nothing to do with this whatsoever!


-- A Mobile Post

Just Another Manic Monday

It's been a while since I've participated in MckMama's "Not Me" Monday blog carnival. As I found myself aimlessly doing laps around the kitchen island tonight, I thought it might be a good time to snuggle up in the bed with my laptop and reflect on all the other things I - ahem - certainly have not been doing this week.

On second thought, let's just hit up the things I have not been doing today.

I did not try really, really hard to take our monthly Kumquat photos with Phil the Elephant (yep - 3 days late) and fail miserably at corralling this very busy girl enough to get a remotely usable picture out of it. See?

I also did not stand aside and continue to take pictures as our little photo shoot devolved into something a bit like this...
... and finally give up once she started to try to climb the bookcase. I also did not curse the fact that DKG and I still have not anchored those darn bookcases to the wall. Nope, not me! I would never put off something that important.

This afternoon, I was not thrilled that the lovely gift I'd purchased for my niece's birthday arrived. I also did not think of how happy I was to have found a sweet baby doll who looked so much like my niece... not an easy feat with these half-Asian babies!
I also did not freak out when I opened the package and discovered that the wrong doll had been sent!
Umm, yeah. Not so Asian. I also did not spend the rest of my quality time for the day baby's naptime on the phone with the vendor trying to figure out how to rectify the situation in time for the big birthday.

Since the day was going so well, I did not decide it was the perfect time to let my baby-who-really-wants-to-be-a-big-girl feed herself a lunch of (organic, whole grain) cheese ravioli and blueberries.
I also did not proceed to spend the next 2 hours cleaning up from that decision.
Oh, and I also did not wait until 10 pm to do my "Not Me" Monday post!

Hope you all had a lovely Monday.

Ornery

Today I was trying to move the Kumquat's booster seat,
but I ran into an enormous a small obstacle.
I know it's hard to be a Baby Kitty who has been usurped by a Baby Kumquat, so I thought I'd let him have his moment. Half an hour later, I said, "OK, Big Kitty. It's time to get moving."

And he gave me Cattitude!

That Little Something Special

I know I have mentioned my moms group now and then, but my friend, Mandy, wrote a beautiful post about the group that I really wanted to share.

She totally hits the nail on the head. I have to say that I was nervous about moving to a new state - where we didn't know a soul & our closest family was nearly 5 hours away - when I was 7 months pregnant with our first child. I knew it would be important for me to get out there and try to develop some kind of support system before the baby arrived. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined that I would find such an amazingly warm, caring and supportive group of mommies who would welcome me with open arms before I was even in the state. Or that women I hadn't even met yet would bring meals to me after the baby was born. Or that I would be such a more confident mother knowing that I could draw on the wisdom of these other women. Or that I could feel such a strong sense of community after only a few months when it took years to feel a sliver of that in other places. Or that I would feel so much caring and wonder and pride in watching other people's children grow and learn new things. Or that I would be able to share my precious daughter with other people (not biologically related to us) who would delight in her quirks, development and spiky hair like I do. Or that I would be continually amazed by how very blessed I feel knowing that my baby girl has the chance to grow up with so many loving mamas looking out for her and caring for her... and for me.

I truly am so thankful to have these amazing women in my life!