Dear Papa -

(a letter to my father who passed away in 2004... This picture was taken just about a week before he passed. Growing up, we called my dad "Pop" or "Papa" and I like to imagine that my Kumquat would have, too.)

Hey, Pop. You've been on my mind - and heart - so much lately. I miss you so much. I so wish that you could meet the little girl. I like to imagine that you met in Heaven before she was born. I wish you were here to play with her and watch her grow. She's such a funny kid. I kinda think that if you were to meet her today, she'd seem very familiar to you. She's such an interesting mix of me and [DKG]. A lot of the time, she's so easy-going just like him. But don't be fooled. Little girl has plenty of Irish fire in her, too. She doesn't have many words just yet, but one she does have - and uses all the time - is "Nay." She was saying "Nein" and we joked that our girl was really German. She has some strong opinions and does not hesitate to express them. BUT, most of the time, she is the sweetest, funniest, happiest little girl ever.

When she was first born, everyone said how she looked exactly like [DKG]. Yesterday, one of his sisters said she looked like a mini-me. What do you think?

Well, I guess like an Asian mini-me, anyway. :) It's fun to see how much she's like her cousins, too. There are some things she does, like the way she runs or scrunches up her nose to say "cheese!" to the camera that remind me so much of Em.

Knowing that both of these little girls do them makes me think that maybe I did, too. Who knows? Oh, you would. :) I really wish that she would know you as she grows up. She does have the best uncles in the world, though, and I think she'll know you that way... even if she doesn't realize it. I started singing "Sippin' Cider" to her when she was itty bitty. For a long time, it was her very favorite. Now, she really loves "Itsy Bitsy Spider." She lives to play "Ride A Pony," too. And, of course, "Too-Ra-Loo-Ra" is our favorite lullaby.

She's really just amazing. She's able to unzip things now. The other morning, I went into her room and found her with her jammies mostly unzipped and one arm out. I think it's just a matter of time before she manages to get them (and her diaper, sigh) off! I also think it's just a matter of time before the little girl is talking up a storm. She has quite an elaborate vocabulary now... unfortunately, it doesn't resemble English very much yet. :) There are lots of different sounds and inflections, though! It really does seem like she's on the verge of saying a lot of words. She does say "dada" well and says "baba" for "mama." Just in the past couple days, she started asking for "wawa" (water) and yesterday said "nigh nigh" when it was time for bed. I'd swear she also said her name the other day! I'm really excited to see (hear!) what the next few weeks will bring. She does use sign language and is a real signing machine. It may sound funny to you, but teaching babies to sign is the thing to do these days. She amazes me all the time. We went to the zoo yesterday and signed "horse" when we saw the zebras!

She has more than 20 signs that she uses really well. "Please" is her new staple. She's a smart girl; she knows that's the one that'll get her what she wants. Her most sophisticated sentence so far has been "more banana, please." She blows kisses for "thank you." (The sign is very similar!) Every morning when her daddy goes to work, she blows him kisses and waves bye-bye. Kumquat kisses are the best. :) We look up new signs all the time. It used to drive me crazy that I'd ask you a question and you'd always say, "I don't know. Let's look it up." Why not just tell me??! Now, I love looking things up for her. She'll try a sign for something that's close but not exactly right. Initially, I'd just tell her it was close, but now we try to look up the real sign... like for zebra. You'd really be amazed at all the technology we have now and how easy it is to look things up! No more heavy dictionaries and encyclopedias necessary!

We're starting a couple classes with K this week... partly because we have an underused Y membership and I need some schedule where I have to get us there. I also keep thinking about when you'd coach us in soccer and you telling me not to be scared of the ball. I don't know how it happened that I was so scared of it, but I really do hope K will be bolder than I was. (Speaking of soccer... you should see her kick her soccer ball around! You'd be so proud!) So, we're doing a toddler gymnastics class & swim lessons. I think it'll be fun for both of us.

Well, those are all the big things she's doing right now. We're doing lots of planning for Joe & Jill's baby shower coming up and can't wait to welcome your first grandsons to the family. I wonder if they'll look like you. :) I guess it won't be too much longer before we find out!

I do miss you a ton, but every day, I'm so thankful for you and all the things you taught me. I know I'm the mom I am because of you. I love you, Papa!

Hanging at Home

Have you gotten the impression that our little family hasn't spent nearly enough time in our Kumquat Garden? I'd have to agree with you. For that reason, I put a travel moratorium into place. I decreed that none of us are allowed to leave the state for the entire month of February. It may not sound like much, but it's a big step for us. I looked back at our calendar and discovered that the last time all three of us were in the state for the entire month was December of 2008... the month after our Kumquat was born! Actually, you'd have to go back to July of 2008 to find a time that we were "all" in the state (Baby K didn't go anywhere without her mama then!) AND we had no out-of-town guests staying with us. Kinda long time, eh?

So, we've really been enjoying being homebodies lately. We've gotten to spend lots of time with our neighbors, which has been just wonderful. I remember when I was in college how wonderful it was to live in the middle of friends. It was a real sense of living in community... sharing meals with people, running into friends as I was going about my day, living on my own, but not feeling like I was alone. When I left college, I thought it was sad that I probably wouldn't have a chance to live in community like that again. DKG & I had a fun taste of it again in Houston, when our dear friends (and wedding party members) moved into our apartment complex and lived down the (long & winding) hall from us. It was so great! We could pop over to each other's places whenever, work out together, ride the bus to work together... It was such a good time. We were just sad they moved in shortly before we moved away. When we left Houston, I thought that really, really would be the last time of having such a community feeling. Thankfully, I was wrong again. Have I mentioned how much I ♥ my neighbors? Somehow, I think it may have come up once or twice... ;) I love that I can just call someone up and we'll take a walk or have dinner or whatever. No serious planning required. I truly feel so blessed that I can live in a true community again.

OK, so other than having a big neighborhood love-fest, I've been spending most of my days marveling at how big my Little Kumquat (can I even call her Baby K anymore?! sniff) has gotten. In fact, when I tried to take her 15-month picture a few weeks ago, I decided Phil the Elephant may not be the best comparison friend for her anymore. So, I'd like to introduce you to Ted the Tiger.

I'm going to try to continue taking monthly pictures of K, but we'll see how that goes. She's getting pretty great at exerting her opinion on things... for better or for worse. :) I did manage to take this picture, in spite of her protestations. Poor girl. It's a rough life.

Other than forced photo-shoots, we've been reading lots and lots of books lately.

K has just started reading books to me, which I think is SO stinkin' adorable. Goodnight Moon is her fave.

She still doesn't have many words (really, it's still all about Da Da), but she's doing some sophisticated babbling. :) She has also been working on her mad stacking & matching skills lately. It's so cool so see little ones learn so many things. Last week, she gathered up giraffe puzzle pieces from different puzzles and brought them all to me. Nice grouping, K! She's doing so many funny things like that lately. For example, she noticed DKG put on his pj pants when he came home from work one day. Obviously, it was time for jammies (she did have hers on already), so she went into my room, got a pair of my pj pants and brought them to me in the kitchen. Adorable, no?

This is another cute example of her super grouping skills. During our Super Bowl party (more neighborhood love!), she saw all of the drinks in the ice bowl. Naturally, her drink should go there, too! She does make her mama proud! :)

Busy, Busy, Busy

It's been a whirlwind of a month! Here's a super-quick recap of what we've been up to since the last post.

In that time, my quickly-growing Kumquat has done the following...

Got her 1-year photos taken

Met Santa

Made LOTS of very important phone calls

Had a super-fun Christmas

Spent New Year's in Las Vegas with Lolo, Lola & Tita

Got her first haircut

Was a fantastic flower girl in her other Tita's wedding

Photo shoots with mommy

Well, hello there!

Well now. Are you still here? Why thanks for checking in even though it's been about 100 years since I last posted. Yeah, sorry about that. It has been a kinda crazy six weeks or so... but then aren't they all? A lot has happened in the past several weeks, but I've gotta be honest. I've really just been a bit lazy. I could blame it on having family visiting for the Kumquat's first birthday, traveling to visit family for Thanksgiving, getting a new computer and having all of our photos in disarray, dealing with a sick baby, or chasing after a walking little Kumquat. But really? All that stuff has just made me feel a bit lazy about blogging.

So what all have we been up to? Well, we've gotta go back a ways, but I'll do my best to catch you up!

Do you remember Halloween? Wasn't that forever ago? Well, my last post was actually from before then, so I thought I'd start there. Our day had a very exciting visit with a celebrity...

What a lucky girl, huh? That night, we had a special Halloween edition of Firepit Night. All of our neighbors gathered in our driveway with their goodies, so we were able to enjoy the trick or treaters together. My baby girl was the cutest little duck ever!

Unfortunately, she's also a very busy duck, so it was really hard to get a good picture of her! Oh well. So, that was Halloween and then we moved straight on to K's first birthday! On Sunday, we had a little birthday party with the neighbors. It was lots of fun. Poor K was sick, but she was still a sweet birthday girl.

On her actually birthday, the little girl felt pretty rotten. Our big kitty gave her the greatest gift ever, though. All the little girl has ever really wanted was the chance to snuggle with him. And that's just what they did. Thank you, Connor Cat!

A couple weeks later, we had K's real birthday party. We scheduled it so that folks from both sides of the family could join us. We were really happy to have K's Lolo & Lola (grandparents), Grammy, Tita Aileen, Aunt Mandy & cousins, E & H visit us! We had quite a full house, but it was so fun to have both sides of the family together. We just wish everyone could have been there, but we'll take what we can get. We had a little party at the Zoo with some of K's baby-friends (and their big sibs). Unfortunately, the little girl was sick again for that party. We'd actually skipped a trip to Lolo & Lola's house for Tita Kit's shower to improve the chances of K being healthy for her party. No dice. :( But she is a super-trooper and was precious, if a bit subdued, for the party. The one perk of having a sick birthday girl is that she left her party hat on. That never would have happened if K were really feeling like herself!

A good time was had by all!

Well, I think that's probably about enough for today. It gets you caught up until about a month ago. Not too bad, huh? Hopefully we'll get all caught up soon.

Sweet Moments

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
- Heather Darling-Cortes

Tonight, I spent about an hour rocking my sleepy toddler-wannabe, wondering how a year could have flown by so quickly, but changed my world so completely. After our park debacle, DKG had to stop by his office, so K & I tagged along. As we drove past the hospital where we attended endless childbirth-preparation classes and Baby K finally was born, it struck me that we may have been making the same drive this day last year, but under very different circumstances. There would not have been four different kinds of snacks, cookie crumbs, 1 crusty bear & 2 drinks in my purse; nor would there be 1 hat and 1 loose baby shoe in DKG's pocket. My car would have been much, much cleaner and I would have been much, much heavier. I also would not have been listening to a song called "A Pirate Says 'Arrr!'" and laughing at a little girl who now does not say any words, but will inform you that the sound a pirate makes is indeed "Arrr!" Later, as we looked out a window in DKG's office building, I pointed out the beautiful Fall colors to K and told her the view from that window was almost the exact same as the one we had the day she was born. I told her how I laid in a bed and looked at the brilliant gold, orange, red and green trees and drank in how they twinkled in the bright sunshine and stood out against the blue sky. And how I looked at those changing leaves and thought about the dramatic change my life was about to take. I thought about how much my baby girl has changed in these past 11 months and how conflicted I feel when I look at her. It is such a beautiful age... she is part baby, part toddler. I just want to hold her and rock her and keep her as my little baby forever, but it is also so thrilling to see all of the new things she learns and does every day. She signed "coat" today. I didn't know she knew that one. And she took 9 steps while we were waiting for DKG. And she crawled up into my arms and rested her head on my chest just like when she was so tiny and new.

This morning, we played. That's it. I didn't clean up the kitchen after breakfast. I didn't make the bed or do the laundry. Or shower. We just played. We read books, danced, took big-girl steps, blew raspberries, shared giggles, counted toes, tickled feet, flew around the room, had mad crawling races, climbed through bridges and tunnels and then took a nap. Someone asked me today what I've been doing to stay busy. I smiled and looked at my sweet daughter. "Oh, not much."

It is an overwhelming gift to be able to be the person she looks to when she's upset or to be able to make her so happy just by walking into the room. I love this age. She is still my sweet baby, but she is able to share herself with us, too. I can love on her all I want and she loves me right back. I think that is what makes me the most wistful right now. I know our relationship will continually grow and change... hopefully it will develop and deepen in positive ways, which is what should happen. We should all grow. But right now is so beautiful. There is no eye-rolling, no baggage, no disappointments, no unmet expectations, no true regrets. There is just love. Pure, true love.

Not Me! Monday

It's been a hard couple of weeks as I vaguely mentioned in my previous post. My dear ones could still use all of the prayers you can send their way... guidance, healing, hope and peace would all be great blessings for them. I've been finding that in the midst of broken hearts, taking time to be frivolous is good for the soul. And so, it's time for MckMama's "Not Me" Monday blog carnival again!

Beyond the heavy stuff, what have we not been up to this week in the Kumquat Garden?

For one, I most certainly did not participate in any sort of man-cave-making Babyland 3.0 designing (a Kumquat needs a ginormous TV and surround sound, no?) activities for hours on end... with a hungry, tired, cranky baby trapped in her stroller. I also did not attempt to bribe appease soothe her by stuffing her full of snacks and playing numerous episodes of The Backyardigans for her on my iPhone. And while I was in the midst of our hours at Ultimate Electronics, I also did not completely forget about a meeting I was supposed to attend that evening. And once I did remember, I certainly did not engage in any sort of passive-aggressive, laying-the-blame-solely-on-my-husband-and-telling-him-I'd-be-kicked-out-of-my-moms' group-behavior. That would just be childish. And unhealthy. And, well... It doesn't matter because I certainly did not do any such thing.

I, a mama who truly considers herself not to be a big TV watcher, did NOT have to institute a "No TV During Dinner" policy... for my 11-month-old baby. (I also did not just feel a little bit sick when I wrote that. Good thing I didn't do it.) I also did not feel like the Worst Parent Ever when said baby had a complete and utter meltdown when DKG turned off the TV. Thank heaven I'd never be that kind of parent!

I also did not take my firstborn child to her very first Halloween party ever and bring the camera, but not the memory card.

And today, I did not drag my husband and child to a playground I love that just happens to be in... well, not the best part of town. I also did not continually reassure DKG that the park was perfectly safe during the entire drive there... even after we saw a homeless-looking man hanging around near the park entrance. I also did not continue with our plan to let the Baby Kumquat play at the park even after we pulled into the parking lot, saw 1 car, but no other people, & then realized there was a guy sleeping in the car. I did not say to DKG, "Well, at least we'll have the playground all to ourselves & Baby K won't have to worry about getting run over by bigger kids." I also did not suggest that we post a video of K swinging in the park on Facebook so that, should anything happen, the lovely folks investigating our abduction would be able to look at the video and have an idea of where we were at that precise time. (Did I mention that I really don't watch much TV? Just checking.) I also did not hightail it out of the park when we were startled by a homeless-looking man sleeping at the top of the slide!

Please Pray

My heart is breaking for some people very, very dear to me. I want to respect their privacy by not discussing details, but I also feel very strongly that they need all of the prayers they can get. So, if you're a praying person, please lift them up in your prayers. And if you're not, they could use any good thoughts and energy you could send their way. Thank you!

Chicago By The Numbers

• 1 nephew Baptized
• 1 2nd birthday celebrated
• 3 precious cousins playing together
• 3 relatives from the Phillippines we'd never met before
• 1 poor niece with a broken arm
• 1 children's museum visited
• 3 titas, 3 titos, 4 lolas, 2 lolos, 1 mommy, 1 daddy, 2 cousins, 1 auntie, 1 uncle, 1 close-enough-to-a-cousin, 1 kumquat, 1 dog & 2 cakes
• 4 dogs met
• 1 girl covered in doggie kisses
• 7 old friends visited & 3 new baby-friends made
• 2 steps taken
• 3 new teeth cut
• 1,000,000,000 pictures taken (give or take)
• 100 million gifts (or so it seemed when I was packing them!)
• 500 miles driven
• 1 plane to catch

Countless wonderful memories!

-- A Mobile Post

Do You Want Fries With That?

I've lately made blogging much more complicated than it really needs to be. And making things extra-complicated is something I never would do. Ahem. I've had trouble blogging often because I always think I need to have some great tale to tell and lots of pictures to go along with it. And, of course, the pics never are straight from the camera. They're almost always edited first. Since I take about a bazillion pictures a day, that's a daunting task! Then blogging, in turn, becomes more of a daunting task and not something to do for fun. Whose idea was that? Oh, right. So, I'm officially letting myself off the hook and getting back to basics. I'm sure this is about the 18th time I've said that in my 150+ posts, but whatever.

Sooo....

Yesterday, I went through the drive-through (thru? It hurts me to spell it that way.) at a fine establishment near the mall. When the young woman working the window handed my drink to me, it was literally overflowing and coated with soda all around. I asked her if I could please have a napkin. She looked at me like I was nuts. Now, don't get me wrong... I've known plenty of intelligent, competent people who have worked at such establishments. This girl just happened not to be one of them. Clearly, she thought the same about me. After she looked at me - utterly puzzled - for a moment, I said again, "A napkin? Please?" (Really, is the economy so bad that asking for a napkin is that preposterous?)

Then her expression changed and she said very slowly, as though explaining something very complicated to a small child, "See, you're at the 'drive-thru' and at the drive-thru, we usually put the napkins inside the bag."

Ah, thanks for clearing that up for me. I have always wondered.

Look What I Found!

The good news: The Kumquat is now doing the sign for "food" or "eat." Very helpful since she's just been signing "more" (which looks an awful lot like "ball" and "shoe") to tell me she's hungry (or so I've guessed).


The bad news: She has made another discovery so conveniently located near her mouth. And I'm sure her big cousin had absolutely nothing to do with this whatsoever!


-- A Mobile Post